Oct. 2013 Update

I don't ever really notice this blog anymore... But somehow I found my way here. @_@ Anyway, since the last blog I've lost both Boo and Freya in that order. Those were hard days to get through, but now I have 2 new ferrets, Cinder(Cinderella) and Furvy(Furvega). So far they're a handful, but good kids.

I work at the D.I. now and there's always some neat stuff you can find there! <.< Sadly I have been buying a lot of stuff lately. ;>_> I apparently didn't take budgeting classes all that well. ^^; Still can't keep my room clean, but things for "Me" are slowly getting better... and still staying terrible if not worse regarding life stuff. Eh, such is Life.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/104687200632040169765

I'm starting to lack any sense of caring.

For some time now I've had little to nothing going for me outside my house besides gym time and basketball at the church. What about spending time with friends? Well, nobody calls me nor wants to come over due to certain reasons as to why? More than likely I just come off as a boring whiny person as some would probably say. Yeah I have depressing days, constantly, but that's how depression is. You might have a slight hope of a good day, and that's all you can get for the time. Church Basketball and gym nights are really the only thing going for me on the outside, I still have my ferrets but I just don't seem to love them as much as I thought I did.

I've been unemployed for... 4 months now, but I just can't bring myself to desire trying to get another job. Most of it is due to basically quitting after losing my cool one too many times as well as getting fired for the same thing from ten months before. Nobody likes to hire people with a short fuse and that's what I have when it comes to me and my social skills. Yes, everyone says they have terrible days at work and move on. However, I don't move on, I don't know how. I'm fucking tired of people saying "just do it" or "there is no try", I can't really do things without instructions you assholes. You tell me how to try and move on and I'll do my best, if it doesn't work then help find another way!

Among other depressing facts of myself, I stopped wanting to actually cook food because I was more occupied with wanting to talk with people in a chatbox because I had grown accustomed to doing so in order to have an outlet to socializing, even if it meant trolling a black kid among other people. But I stopped because I couldn't tolerate the assholes who are just assholes who don't know how to roleplay accordingly on a site. 'My site isn't on top, so I'm butthurt.' 'I can't roleplay with a character that has restrictions and is overpowered more than anything else on the site! If I lose that then I will bring down the website!' 'I'm just a dick because I can be and want to ruin someone else's website because I can! ^_^' Well, yeah I'm just tired of jackasses and roleplaying on a site where people think they can do whatever the hell they want without restrictions and other godmodding ways.

I'M DAMN TIRED OF PEOPLE AND THEIR BULLSHIT SHENANIGANS!! Oh no, caps lock and using words out of context! Someone call the damn grammar nazis on me... If I don't have to put up with shit, then why should I? People who like to talk about other people in embarrassing ways like "Oh he's gonna have that playboy magazine covered in goo." There's no damn wonder why people never enjoy coming over to visit...

I complain that nobody comes over yet I am glad nobody comes over, it pisses me off that I feel these feelings due to other people's actions. I suppose it would hurt people to call me, maybe I am over-reacting. I suppose if I had money I could move on with my life, but I just don't seem to feel like doing so. I... know of 3 days a week I can possibly do my best to have a good outcome, but for some reason someone else has to ruin it somehow or someway... I can't remember when I stopped wanting to draw or doodle. Then again I have no confidence with drawing and would rather not waste paper anymore. @(_@

A White Winter?? In Idaho!? Apparently so...

Well, ever since a day or so before Thanksgiving it started to snow here in Idaho *gasp*. Yes, it's as surprisingly rare as me going outside. Idaho's weather is known for being as random as a woman's mood swings as well as someone with ADHD and multiple personalities. One minute it's sunny next thing you know it's windy and then cold and then warm again. Next day not a cloud in sight and you have rain or clouds that look full of promise of rain or snow but laugh at you as they do NOTHING!!

I will finish this later...

Where was I...? Ahh the snow, right. We had quite a few inches of snow drop within Thanksgiving Week. Somehow though, my house was like whoring itself out to snow or something cause DAMN we managed to get a foot in our yard compared to the 5-6 inches everyone else seemed to have. Literally the snow came up to our porch! Before my yard got dumped on, we had some snow and my ferrets didn't take too well to it. Boo ran around the edge of the porch to some wet ground where there was no snow and started digging and I had to keep Freya from falling down the window well. Annoying as crazy, but I still love the skunk of a ferret. All in all the crops will enjoy this snow, although not the city... Damn snow plows... I had to literally shovel a small path to my mailbox as you can see. @(_@

We finally get snow.

Today we finally got snow this year... If we're lucky we will get a bit more because the crops could use it and hopefully it'll help make it rain more, I don't know I am no expert on weather. I also quit my job on the 2nd anniversary of my ferret's death, which I forgot this year. It's sad, I keep forgetting when that day gets here as well as I don't really remember my last gerbil's death, but I remember the day our other 3 ferrets died, but I forget when that comes around as well...

I'm not the best at trying to pull myself together, I mean I've been told I look happier since I quit my job, but I am also a mess due to not having one, however I no longer have the same stress factors from before. I went to visit my cousins in Boise, it was kinda nice to visit with other people. I didn't do too well in bowling, but at least I went. One of my cousins as well as one of my brothers told me to read a certain book. Hopefully I can trust their definition of "It's good" compared to my dad's definition of good. <__< I'm not sure how he got away of saying that about a bad film *which shall remain unnamed* without mom hitting him... Good vacation, amazing breakfast, all went well, even though the trip back home was a mess due to rain everywhere. We're alive, and now I need to get going on looking for another job.

Murr

Well, only a few people if that read this thing... Also a week after my last post I got my job at Pizza Hut back, yeah sad indeed. Ever since a few Fridays ago people are just up and quitting so it's going to get worse for me. :( I don't even know if I'll be able to keep my job due to lack of efficiency and anger issues. I really wanted to see my hometown again. But at the rate things are going, it's not possible.

Anyway, I needed to dust this off...

Meh

Nothing new except looking for another job. Nothing of important issues to mention except my last blog was in December and I have been attending church every week so far in 2010. @(_@

End of the Year Depression strikes again!

I wonder why I even bother doing anything. I should delete my Facebook account or just buy a new router cause its always a pain to refresh 10 bloody times just for it to load as well as nobody really stops and says hi to me. I don't expect comments here, but damn I need to remember I'm... all I do is whine and get angry.

Tonight I went to the bar with a few friends, only to get miserable because I can't get a girl off my mind and I just have doubts. It didn't help about how I kept hearing people talking about sex, and I got free condoms from a cute asian girl because people were going out to promote safe sex, and I even told her "I don't need them because I never get any anyway." I still got them.

People say if you're depressed get over it, but its not easy for most people to do that. Keep moving forward never look back, doesn't always work... although I think my brain is backwards I can't be too sure. It doesn't help that depression happens like the Bubonic Plague every winter around Christmas. Doesn't help that I got fired the day after Thanksgiving either as well as I can't get unemployment due to not earning enough, not sure why THAT is but whatever... Idaho Blows. Don't believe me? Just look at this: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=idaho_blows

*Link is from Maddox and he speaks the truth.

P.S. I really wish mom would quit telling me thinks would be the same if we never left Georgia. :( I bet there are no casinos in Georgia. <_<