I'm starting to lack any sense of caring.

For some time now I've had little to nothing going for me outside my house besides gym time and basketball at the church. What about spending time with friends? Well, nobody calls me nor wants to come over due to certain reasons as to why? More than likely I just come off as a boring whiny person as some would probably say. Yeah I have depressing days, constantly, but that's how depression is. You might have a slight hope of a good day, and that's all you can get for the time. Church Basketball and gym nights are really the only thing going for me on the outside, I still have my ferrets but I just don't seem to love them as much as I thought I did.

I've been unemployed for... 4 months now, but I just can't bring myself to desire trying to get another job. Most of it is due to basically quitting after losing my cool one too many times as well as getting fired for the same thing from ten months before. Nobody likes to hire people with a short fuse and that's what I have when it comes to me and my social skills. Yes, everyone says they have terrible days at work and move on. However, I don't move on, I don't know how. I'm fucking tired of people saying "just do it" or "there is no try", I can't really do things without instructions you assholes. You tell me how to try and move on and I'll do my best, if it doesn't work then help find another way!

Among other depressing facts of myself, I stopped wanting to actually cook food because I was more occupied with wanting to talk with people in a chatbox because I had grown accustomed to doing so in order to have an outlet to socializing, even if it meant trolling a black kid among other people. But I stopped because I couldn't tolerate the assholes who are just assholes who don't know how to roleplay accordingly on a site. 'My site isn't on top, so I'm butthurt.' 'I can't roleplay with a character that has restrictions and is overpowered more than anything else on the site! If I lose that then I will bring down the website!' 'I'm just a dick because I can be and want to ruin someone else's website because I can! ^_^' Well, yeah I'm just tired of jackasses and roleplaying on a site where people think they can do whatever the hell they want without restrictions and other godmodding ways.

I'M DAMN TIRED OF PEOPLE AND THEIR BULLSHIT SHENANIGANS!! Oh no, caps lock and using words out of context! Someone call the damn grammar nazis on me... If I don't have to put up with shit, then why should I? People who like to talk about other people in embarrassing ways like "Oh he's gonna have that playboy magazine covered in goo." There's no damn wonder why people never enjoy coming over to visit...

I complain that nobody comes over yet I am glad nobody comes over, it pisses me off that I feel these feelings due to other people's actions. I suppose it would hurt people to call me, maybe I am over-reacting. I suppose if I had money I could move on with my life, but I just don't seem to feel like doing so. I... know of 3 days a week I can possibly do my best to have a good outcome, but for some reason someone else has to ruin it somehow or someway... I can't remember when I stopped wanting to draw or doodle. Then again I have no confidence with drawing and would rather not waste paper anymore. @(_@